


Holidays

by Meri



Series: Better Days Series [3]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gen, Gen Fic, HP: Epilogue Compliant, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-01-05
Updated: 2011-01-05
Packaged: 2017-10-14 10:58:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/148514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Meri/pseuds/Meri
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Severus has a disturbing conversation and then makes plans to deal with it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Holidays

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Regan_V](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Regan_V/gifts).



> **Disclaimer:** I don't own anything that has to do with Harry Potter. I'm borrowing everyone without permission. I'll return everyone in better condition when I'm done with them.  
>  **Note 2:** Posted in honor of [Regan_V's](http://regan_v.livejournal.com) birthday -- 2011.  
>  **Note 3:** Many thanks to my speedy beta [ Beth H ](http://bethbethbeth.dreamwidth.org)

Severus knocked on the door of Polly Coleman's office. "You wanted to see me, ma'am?"

She'd sent an email to Severus asking him to come to see her after his last class let out for the winter break.

"I've turned in my retirement papers for the end of the spring term," she said, waving him to the battered wooden chair in front of her desk. Her office smelled like dust and old books. When he'd first started, it had reminded him painfully of Hogwarts. Over the years, the memory had faded, but the last two years it had come back with a vengeance. He resented the infringement on his peace.

Severus tilted his head. He'd known her a long time and she didn't announce something like that without a reason. "Good for you."

"You've been here eighteen years. According to your file, you're nearly sixty." Polly pinned him with a hard look.

What did his age have to do with anything? Usually he could read her quite well, but clearly not today. Severus leaned back a bit and looked back at her unblinking. "That's very true. I have and I am."

"You don't look any older than you did when you first started here."

"Of course I do. I've got a lot of gray in my hair." He ran a hand over his short hair. There might be some gray at his temples, but he didn't look anything close to a Muggle at sixty. If anything, the lack of stress in his life had made him look younger. Damnation, this had come sooner than he'd expected it.

"Not enough." She handed him an eight by ten photograph of himself. It had been taken his first year here.

Wizards past forty didn't age the same way that Muggles did. He wouldn't see significant aging until he was well past seventy. If he'd been thinking more clearly then, he would have subtracted ten years from his age. He'd thought he'd planned this down to the finest detail and still he missed something so simple.

He looked at her and waited.

"You're the best thing that's happened to this school and this community in all the years I've been here. I think you know that, too." When he would have opened his mouth, she held up a hand. "But now, there are students who've gone on to university coming back to teach here, and at the other schools in the village."

"What are you telling me?" because it sounded to him as if she might be getting ready to sack him. And after everything, that made no sense, but it was just his cursed luck.

"That..." she stopped and took a breath. "I'm just pointing out that..." She shrugged. It wasn't like her to be less than direct. It was one of the things he'd always appreciated about her.

After another second or two, she sighed. "If you were to leave, you would be missed, to be sure, but you would not leave as big a hole as you would have done even five years ago."

"Are you asking me to leave?" Severus asked carefully. That eventuality was not even on his list of possibilities. Clearly, he'd grown too complacent through the years. He didn't have any plans on what he would do next. Truthfully, he thought he'd have at least five more years before he had to worry about it.

She shook her head, but didn't meet his eyes. "It's not a matter of wanting to get rid of you. I want you to be safe --"

"Why would you think I wouldn't be?" It was painfully obvious that she knew something more.

Before he could say anything else, she held up her hand again to stop him. "I'm not asking you to tell me why. I don't want or need to know. But I want you to think about what I've said."

Severus controlled his breathing by force of will. It had been a long time since he'd needed this particular skill, but some things were never forgotten. "Why now?"

"Because of that man who came to find you." Polly's gaze was fixed firmly on the wall over his shoulder.

"Didn't he tell you that I wasn't the man he was looking for?" He'd always thought she'd bought that too easily.

"Yes, yes he did. And I wanted to believe it. If I hadn't found out who he was, I might have been able to continue believing it."

She couldn't know. Severus straightened his shoulders. "And who is he?"

"This past term my granddaughter, Amanda -- you've met her -- started to attend the same school that Kensi goes to. The one in Scotland." Polly finally looked at him.

It was a small village. He'd met most of the families of the teachers as well as most of his students' families.

"What do you think you know?" Severus closed his eyes and let out a shallow breath.

For years discovery had been his worst nightmare -- he'd always thought it would come from the Wizarding World finding him and then dragging him back to stand trial for his crimes. Just when he'd started to think that wouldn't be a problem, something wholly unexpected blindsided him.

"Nothing more than who that man is." She paused. "And what he might have wanted with you."

What were the chances of that? It didn't seem possible. Twenty four years later, in the middle of a poor Muggle village, his past finds him again. Would he never be free of it?

Did he even deserve to be free? Even a few years ago, he would have said no, but now, knowing that he'd been exonerated, that the Wizarding world had forgiven him, he might be ready to start to forgive himself.

Polly cleared her throat, pulling his attention back to her.

"There've been witches and wizards in my family over the generations. It's just accepted. We don't talk about it. When Kensi got that...scholarship, I knew that was where she went. What I didn't know was who you were or who that man was."

"A very famous wizard." Severus managed to say it without any scorn. He'd had several conversations with Potter. Every holiday break meant Kensi and Lily would see each other. Each time, Potter invited him to some gathering or other, and every time, Severus refused him. But each time, he was more tempted.

When he hadn't heard anything about the Wizarding world for twenty years, he hadn't thought of it. For the last two years, he'd got a bi-yearly update. And thought about it more in that time than he had in all the years before it put together.

Perhaps it was time to do more than think about it. He wasn't ready to give this life up yet. But maybe it was time to start planning for the coming eventuality. Start to prepare people and himself for his departure. He had a life here. Friends. Colleagues.

While they weren't quite friends, he didn't hate Potter or resent him the way he'd done when he'd been in that world.

This would require some thought and he wasn't going to do it sitting in Polly's office. He stood. "Thank you," he said, inclining his head.

She nodded as he closed the door behind him.

* * *

"Da --" Kensi came through the barrier at Kings Cross Station. She'd grown taller in the few months since he'd last seen her.

He looked beyond her. Harry and Lily Potter followed close behind her.

After a quick hug, he turned to Potter raising his eyebrow. "Was there something you wanted, Mr. Potter?" He managed to sound, if not nice, then certainly very close to polite. Which surprisingly wasn't all that hard to do. Too much easy Muggle living, he supposed.

Some part of him found that amusing since the adult Potter bore no resemblance to the annoying child. And even less resemblance to James Potter. As much as he'd tried to let the past go, some things were never going to fade completely.

Potter laughed. "You sound like a professor I once had."

It wasn't that he thought that anyone would recognize him on this side of the barrier, but he couldn't be sure. Severus glared at him and that only caused Potter to smile more. "As it happens, I'm a professor that many students' have had."

"We just wanted to make sure Kensi got to you without incident --"

"For which I am grateful," Severus said. He was always grateful when someone took care with his daughter.

Potter continued on, "And to invite you to this year's Yule party. It's going to be at Hermione and Ron's new house."

"I'm sure they appreciate your inviting Muggles without letting them know." He said it without the scorn he might once have added. It was what he'd been waiting for. While he wasn't sure what he was going to do yet, he wanted to know what all of his options were before he started to plan.

"They know Kensi's coming. And I told them I was going to invite her father. That would be you."

Severus wanted to laugh. "And what would they say if I said I'd come this year."

"Oh, da --" Kensi looked up at him. "Would you? I so want you to meet all of my friends."

"Seriously?" Potter asked. His astounded expression was almost worth what this was going to cost him. "I think they would be delighted."

"I'm considering it." The key was to make sure he had all the possible options opened. And Potter would be a useful key in reentering the Wizarding World. Should he choose to do so.

Potter shot him a sharp look. "I'm surprised."

"I can see that. When is it?"

"Day after you were going to bring Kensi to stay with us," Lily put in. "It would be lovely if you could come, Mr. Snape."

"As I said, I'm considering it." He smiled down at Lily. That he could look at her and see Potter's daughter rather than the past was a good sign. "We should be going," he said to Kensi.

She hugged Lily. "I'll see you in a week," she said as she followed him towards the entrance.

* * *

"Potter," Severus waved him over. "Thank you for meeting me."

"I have to say I was curious about what you wanted." Potter sat down at the table with only the briefest glance around at the Muggle Bar.

Severus still hated asking anyone to do anything for him, but at least Potter owed him. "I…" He sighed. "I wish to know…" He couldn't quite bring himself to ask. It was all he could do not to get up and walk out. This was _not_ a good idea. Damn, Potter anyway.

But Potter inclined his head, and seemed to understand. "I think I told you that you're considered a hero. That you'd be welcomed back."

"You've said." Severus paused. It was hard to even consider after so long. "I had been thinking in terms of people I once knew."

Potter pushed his hand through his hair and oddly enough, it fell back into the casual waves it had been cut into. "Well, that's another story. I suspect they would be glad to find you alive. Though it's also very possible that they will be angry that you didn't let them know that you were alive long before this."

"I expect they would require some explanation." And therein lay the rub. He had none. When he'd left he'd had no reason to believe that anyone would have cared one way or another. Or that he'd ever consider coming back.

"Pretty much. And truthfully, you do have one. But I know how you feel about having to explain."

It had been years. How was it possible that Potter knew him that well?

Potter looked right into his eyes. "Why now?"

"The Headteacher is retiring at the end of the school year. She pointed out to me that I hadn't seem to have aged in the eighteen years I'd been at the school." Severus still found it hard to believe he'd been so careless. Obviously, he'd spent too much time as a Muggle to even think about it.

"Why would one thing have to do with another?" Potter asked, sounding confused.

"Muggles age faster than we do. She thinks it was time for me to move on."

"And you want to come back?"

After Severus had said he wouldn't time after time, this must come as something of a surprise to Potter.

He ran a hand over his face. The words didn't come easily. "As long as I didn't think about it, I didn't miss it."

Something like understanding crossed Potter's face. "But now, with Kensi here --"

"She'll take a position and live in that world. I don't want to give her up." It would be hard enough to give her up to a husband or wife, but if he stayed a Muggle he'd have a very small place in her life. And that was completely unacceptable.

"I don't believe that she would let you go so easily."

"This life sucks you into it and does not let you go. How much does Hermione Granger see her parents as apposed to Molly and Arthur?"

Potter nodded. "You have a point. I'm going to tell Hermione and Ron who you are --"

It was not his first choice, but he didn't see another way. "All right."

"And Kingsley. I owe him that --"

"I would rather not have it official yet."

"He's not Minister of Magic anymore, so I don't think he will tell anyone until you're ready."

Severus raised an eyebrow at that.

"He thought twenty years was enough." Potter laughed. "And he probably thinks I should retire as well."

"How long have you been Head Auror?"

"Too long, I think sometimes." Potter rubbed the back of his neck and pushed his glasses up on his nose. "Twelve years."

"That might be your answer."

"I have no idea what I'd do with my time." Potter looked at him. "What would you do?"

"Well, I suspect I will get a pension of some sort from the school system. I'm at an age where I'm eligible, but it won't be that much because I don't have twenty years in. It will be a supplement to whatever else I decide to do. Money, oddly enough, isn't an issue."

"Oh, why is that?"

"Before I left, I had been saving galleons and converting them to pounds. I had quite a bit saved." Severus made sure that he would never want for anything. His job had paid for most of the necessities of his and Kensi's life. He'd sworn when she was born that Kensi would never have to wear patched robes on the first day of school no matter what he had to do to make sure of it.

* * *

"Seriously?" Ron said, setting his beer bottle on the table in front of the sofa and turning to stare at Harry with his mouth open. "Snape is alive?"

Harry nodded. He couldn't remember the last time he'd seen that expression on Ron's face. "Really."

"How?" Hermione asked, sitting down with less than her usual grace. "He was dead when we left him in the Shrieking Shack."

"Apparently not that dead" Harry let out a breath. "According to Steven...Severus -- that's what he uses now -- he wasn't stupid enough to go into Voldemort's presence without being prepared for betrayal."

Hermione's brow wrinkled. "I guess that does make sense."

"Why didn't you say anything sooner?" Ron didn't quite seem annoyed, but over the years he'd learned to hide it better.

"It wasn't my secret to tell." Harry ran a hand over his face. "He's not the same man you remember."

"I hope not. It's been more than twenty years at this point." Hermione's laugh sounded forced. "How do you feel about it?"

Harry shrugged. "I was shocked two years ago. But I've seen him every school break since then. Lily loves Kensi. And I have no doubt in my mind that Severus loves his daughter dearly."

Ron nodded at that. Rose was totally daddy's girl. "That why he's doing this now?"

"I think it's a lot of things. That probably being one of the primary reasons. But he's been teaching at a Muggle school eighteen years. The headteacher is going to retire and I think she hinted that maybe it was time for him to go, too."

"I imagine he misses the Wizarding World, too," Hermione said.

"He could have come back at any time," Ron pointed out. "Why now?"

"Except that he didn't know until very recently that he wasn't a wanted criminal."

"Of course, he wouldn't know that." Hermione pushed her hair out of her face. Even as short as she'd cut it, it still had a life of its own. "A lot of things have changed since he's left. I don't think he could come back and not suffer some kind of culture shock."

"We've got more Muggles in the community now." Ron paused. "Maybe Draco and I could help him get some of his skills back. We always need help brewing."

"I don't think he's going to need to work," Harry said. "That might be getting ahead of ourselves. I think I'd just like to see him take a step towards coming back."

Both Ron and Hermione nodded.

* * *

"Da," Kensi said, pulling him towards another group of people. He felt like he'd talked to everyone in the crowded room tonight. Oddly, only about half knew who he was. That half had been quite pleased to find him alive, though somewhat annoyed that he'd just turned up without letting them know that he was alive, oh, about fifteen years ago.

Disappointingly, Draco and his wife were unable to attend due to sick twins. A recent occurrence from what Potter had told him. And the world hadn't changed enough for Lucius to come to the Weasley's holiday party.

"This is headmistress McGonagall," Kensi said.

Who looked at him and folded her arms over her chest. "Well, Severus. It's good to see you again."

She hadn't changed that much. Aged a bit. The way older middle aged wizards did. Her hair only had a streak or two of grey in it and the eyes behind her square spectacles were still as sharp as tacks.

Seeing her again brought a wave of memories, both good and bad. Until those last few years, he'd had a fairly friendly relationship with Minerva. He'd tried hard not to think about her or Hogwarts when he'd left. For the most part, he'd been successful.

Severus nodded. "And you, Minerva."

Her stare was just as intimidating as it had been when he was a student. But he was long past that. For the life of him, he could not think of something to say to her. Then the way she'd greeted him struck a note inside him. "How did you know?"

She didn't even pretend not to know what he was asking. "Every headmaster or headmistress has a portrait appear when they die. No matter how long or short a time they served. "

"I never had one painted." That last year was so fraught with horror he'd never even thought about it.

"Neither did any of the others. It doesn't matter."

Oh. He hadn't known that.

"That's not in _Hogwarts: A History_." He'd forgotten Kensi was standing beside him.

Minerva looked down at her. "You will find that many things are not written down. That doesn't mean they are any less true. Why don't you run along, now?"

Clearly, Minerva wanted to talk to him.

Kensi hesitated, ready to jump to his defense.

"Go on with you now," Severus said and put his hand on her head for a moment. She sighed and moved back into the crowd.

"Let's take this out onto the patio," Minerva waved towards the glass doors.

There were a few glow balls hanging in the air, but not enough to really light the patio. Severus shivered. If Minerva wanted to give him a bollocking, he supposed she'd earn the right to it.

"Why didn't you ever tell anyone about the portrait?" asked Severus when they had been silent for a long moment or two.

"After all was said and done, and you'd been exonerated, I felt…" she sighed. "If you didn't want to be in the Wizarding World any longer, you'd earned the right not to be."

He'd expected a punch in the face -- or more likely a hex -- from her for what he'd put her through. "Thank you."

She said nothing, but her eyes widened.

Had he been _that_ rude when she'd known him that his thanks came as a surprise? Oh, he had no doubt he'd been difficult, especially to Potter, but to his colleagues? As was true with many of the horrible things that happened in the past, it was all a bit hazy at this point. Given the situation then, it was probably for the best.

"You've changed, haven't you?" She seemed surprised.

"It's been twenty four bloody years. I would hope so." He smiled as he said it. Yes, he'd changed. When life wasn't so hard, it tended to make a person more agreeable. "The last twenty or so odd years have been quite different from the ones before it."

She laughed. "Right, then. What have you been doing?"

"Teaching Muggle Chemistry."

She tilted her head. "Which is rather like potions, yes?"

Not even close. But of course, that wasn't all he'd been doing. "Distantly. If you didn't bring me out here to yell at me for being a prat, then why?"

"Still direct and to the point." She smiled. "Maybe I simply wanted to catch up with you."

Under other circumstances, he might have believed it, but there was something more here, though what, he couldn't say. "What are you planning?" He almost added _you old tabby_ , but he didn't have the right to that kind of familiarity anymore. Part of him wished he did.

"Rumor has it that you're thinking of coming back to us." And didn't she sound like she approved of that.

He would not have guessed that Potter would have told her. But truthfully, Severus didn't know him that well. "He told you that?"

"You're here at this party." She waved a hand vaguely around her.

"Kensi was invited," Severus pointed out. "I'm just her Muggle father."

"Then I'll leave you with this. Muggle studies is required of anyone who isn't Muggleborn or Muggle raised. And we now require the teacher to have spent time in the Muggle world."

Severus raised an eyebrow. He had not expected that.

And Minerva went on, "My present teacher is leaving at the end of the summer term."

Before he could even begin to think of an appropriate answer, she turned on her heal and walked away. Some small part of him was screaming that the whole thing was just too pat. But this was likely Potter's doing and for whatever reason, he didn't believe that Potter would betray him. However, coming back here had awakened his paranoia. He let out a sigh and opened the door to return to the party.

****

As soon as he returned to the room, Kensi waved him over to where she was standing with several more of her friends. Of those Kensi was standing with, he only recognized Lily. But he could make a guess as to who the others were.

"This is Albus Potter, and Rose Weasley. And this is James Potter." Something about the way she said James' name made the hairs stand up on the back of his neck. He did not like the sound of that at all.

"Everyone, this is my dad. Steven Snape." It always amazed him how proud she sounded of him.

"Are you really Severus Snape?" Albus asked, sounding far too excited for Severus' peace of mind. "Did Voldemort really try to feed you to his giant snake?"

That was probably the single most terrifying moment in his life and Albus Potter's eyes positively glittered with excitement at the prospect. Before he could explode, he took a breath and remembered that the past horrors of his life -- and Albus' father's life -- weren't even real to these children who had grown up in a peaceful world. And maybe that wasn't such a bad thing.

Kensi took his hand. "It must have been scary."

And he was grateful that she'd never know just how scary it was.

"It was. But it was a long time ago," Severus said.

"That's pretty cool," James said and cast a quick glance at Severus. It was clear he had some idea of what his brother had asked. "Are you going to stay in the Wizarding World now?"

"I haven't made my plans yet." Severus had no idea what he was doing long term. But in the short term, it was more than time for him to leave this party.

"We're going upstairs to play the new exploding snaps game that Albus got for his birthday. Come up with us, Kensi," Rose said.

The group started to move off. "I'll be there in a second," Kensi said. "You're going?"

She knew him well. He'd had all the socializing he could handle. "I'll see you in a week." He hugged her.

When she pulled back, she whispered, "I'm going to marry James when I'm old enough."

"Oh?" It was all Severus could do not to choke.

"Yes." She said and hugged him again and then raced up the stairs. Severus was still finding it hard to breathe.

Potter was beside him, laughing. "It's not much of a secret that Kensi has a crush on James."

"I will kill him if he hurts her." Severus meant it to be casual, but it came out menacing.

Potter's eyes widened just a bit. But then he seemed to shake it off and smiled. "I'm not sure he actually knows. And no, James wouldn't hurt anyone."

He could have made a comment about Potter's father, but it wasn't really appropriate in this context. As much as he would never forgive James Potter for his cruelty, he'd let the anger and the bitterness go when he walked away from the Wizarding World. There was no reason to pick it back up.

He coughed a bit. "She'll outgrow it. They all do."

"Maybe. Ginny never did." Potter kept right on smiling.

Severus thought seriously about drawing his wand and hexing the prat. Even out of practice, he could still do some damage. "Look where that got her."

Some of the light in Potter's eyes dimmed and some part of Severus regretted it. "That was my fault. But I was a little too busy as a teenager to realize that maybe the dream I cherished wasn't actually what I wanted."

The irony that Potter hadn't gotten the life he'd fought so hard to win did not escape him. "What did you want then?"

Potter laughed again, and this time it wasn't nearly so lighthearted. "Seems I played for the other team."

What? Wait. It took a few long seconds for that to make sense. He made a conscious effort not to let his jaw drop open. "Seriously?"

"You're shocked?" Why would that please Potter so much?

"Surprised would be more like it. Three children?"

"Well, yes. No one ever said I was that bright. It took irrefutable evidence to make me see the light."

Severus' lips twitched. "I think there is a story there." And why he wanted to know it was beyond him. But he did.

"Oh, yes. But that's for another time."

Indeed it was. Severus inclined his head. "Thank you for inviting me. And please convey my thanks to the Weasleys."

"You're welcome." Potter smiled.

\---finis

Next up: School Days

1/5/2010


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